DISSECTING DISASTER- BLACK WIDOW: REGRETTING ORIGINALITY

2021’s Black Widow left fans split. The general MCU audience loved it like they usually do but a ton of comic readers took it to social media to complain about the film’s numerous flaws, all of them stemming from demolishing the basics of a single character. Welcome to Dissecting Disaster and this month I’ll be breaking down what exactly made Black Widow painfully average under 3 simple headings:

1. Underutilization of main characters

2. Playing with the rules of fictional realism

3. Being afraid of the wackiness of comic books

WHEN THE MAINS BECOME THE EXTRAS

One of the primary problems in Black Widow is the underutilization of the leaders of its characters pack. Aside from Yelena, Natasha and Taskmaster (I’ll get to that one in a while) the other characters which include Dreykov, Red Guardian and Melina were pretty much ignored in the third act. Okay, maybe ignored isn’t the best term here but the essence of their characters were definitely ignored. Dreykov is somehow worse than the Now You See Me 2 villain reveal which is really something you have to TRY to top. He’s one note character who’s just there for the heck of it and doesn’t impact the third act at all. This man is supposed to be the source of all the trauma that Yelena and Nat endured and all he gets is some fucking pheromones, frankenstein’s daughter and death amongst a bunch of nameless goons. How can you honestly think that this is a satisfying ending to the man who haunted these 2 seemingly unbreakable women for YEARS! Sure. Nat believes he died but the name still haunts her and here he just dies just like that. No intimidation, no complexity, just a green screen, third graders playing with CGI and that’s it. The end. Now, Alexei and Melina are different. Dreykov was treated like shit from the beginning. These two were not, which makes their unimportance seem even more insulting. Alexie doesn’t get the Captain America fight he always wanted and Melina shows little to no remorse for torturing hundreds of women and just gets off scot-free. She even gets a warm goodbye because destroying one flying base is apparently enough to redeem probably the evilest woman in the MCU. I’m not gonna talk about their comic accuracy here, I think it’s barely relevant in this topic but trust me, the comics will play a major role around the end of this article. So, Black Widow wastes 2 great characters with really complex foundations and the villain that has haunted and lurked over Natasha for years on end but somehow, that is far from the worst thing that it has done.

BENDING THE RULES A LITTLE TOO FAR

Black Widow is a character that presents a lot of opportunities. She isn’t a hulking monster, a super soldier, or a talking racoon. She’s a normal human being (yes she did take the super soldier serum in the comics but not in the MCU) who relies on her wits and skills to get out of difficult situations. For a character as grounded as Black Widow you’d come to expect a very realistic take. Unfortunately, that is not what her movie offers….AT ALL. Black Widow should’ve died 17 different times in this movie but magically kept surviving with a mere limp at best. She fell out of a sky base and was absolutely unharmed, she crashed her car into a subway station and didn’t lose her agility, SHE GOT HER CAR BLOWN AWAY BY A FUCKING MISSILE AND LITERALLY 0 DAMAGE TAKEN. Stuff like this makes this movie seem less and less believable. At one point, the movie summersalts from Spy Thriller (which is the best genre for black widow) to action adventure and by the time the credits grace the silver screen, you walk out of the theatre feeling like you watched an action fantasy. Nat and Yelena talk openly about being trained assassins in front of day-to-day citizens like it’s nothing. They drink beers and steal a dude’s car and this is when you realise that the movie absolutely forgets the fact that at that point of time, NAT IS A WORLD-FAMOUS FUGITIVE! There’s zero sense of dread or urgency regarding the fact that Ross might catch up to her. Not even a single scene to address it and then the movie just says “fuck it” and throws in a fucking sky base in a movie revolving around the most grounded avenger. How can you expect the audience to respect your movie when you don’t respect the rules that you set for it yourself? How can the audience follow the film when you keep switching the overall tone scene by scene? Why should the audience care when you clearly don’t?

BEING ASHAMED OF ABSURDITY

Black Widow’s core flaw is being unrealistic while also being ashamed of its comic roots and nothing portrays it better than Taskmaster. Now look, Taskmaster is a good villain. She’s the best villain that this story needed and fit perfectly with the themes. However, is it insulting Taskmaster’s comic counterpart? Absolutely. 100% . If you’re going to take so much away from Taskmaster then why not just create an original character? The only part of Taskmaster left in this interpretation is his mimicking skills and it isn’t even a natural power that he developed, it’s just a chip. It’s like the writers just googled “Famous Marvel Villains and picked one blindly without bothering to research him. If you think that Masters is just a character that can mimic fighting skills then you’re so wrong. Masters has a charismatic personality with a sarcastic tone which is highlighted in his ongoing comics run, not just that but he also trains goons and is a teacher. In fact, his first appearance was as a teacher in The Avengers comics and he took down Ant Man and Yellowjacket with ease. He was created to answer the question of “Who is behind all these nameless goons?”. Not just that, the best part of Taskmaster’s character is the fact that he suffers from severe memory loss, often forgetting about his wife and specifics regarding his job which makes it impossible for him to spill the beans. Every time he learns a new fighting style, he forgets a cherished memory which is why this character brings in a layer of complexity. Now, the movie version is mute, no personality, no development, no memory loss, just a completely original character who just happens to be designed like Taskmaster and mimics fighting styles but she is a very good villain, a walking example of the red on Natasha’s ledger. But the most important question is: Would this movie work without Taskmaster? A perfect antagonist for a movie cannot be replaced. You take Vulture out of Homecoming and it doesn’t work out that well. Unfortunately, you could swap Taskmaster with any villain in world and Black Widow would remain exactly the same which is evidence of a weak adaptation. Taskmaster isn’t a bad antagonist perse, just a very bad INTERPRETATION of the character which highlights the movie’s hypocrisy more than anything else.

RED IN THE LEDGER

Black Widow is a painfully average movie with a ton of wasted potential and an extremely shallow third act. Not to mention, it’s timing is all over the place. This movie definitely should’ve come out in 2017 and you can’t help but shake off the feeling of it being an afterthought throughout the course of this film. I would not recommend watching it unless you’re a fan of the formulaic box office dominations that we’ve come to expect from the MCU. AND NO, THE PROBLEM WITH TASKMASTER ISN’T THAT SHE’S A WOMAN. DO NOT MASK YOUR SHAMELESS SEXISM IN THE NAME OF “CRITICISM”. Anyways, I’ll take a break from DD and GG once again. I’ll return with fresh pieces in October when I’m done with my exams. Thanks for reading and have a great day!

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